Call me by my full name: Bwana Chickie Baby
Call me by my full name: Bwana Chickie Baby
Today on the Classic Movie Reviews Podcast, we are taking on How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965).
This film has a crushingly low 4.7 rating on iMDB.com[1]. That really burns. Rottentomatoes.com gives it an equally crushing 33 percent audience approval[2]. Frankie was only in the movie for a little over five minutes as he was making another movie at the time. Funicello was pregnant and wore smocks and placed product endorsements in front of her midsection during filming[3]. It is no wonder that this was the least loved of the beach films. Maybe I just a big Buster Keaton fan.
On January 12, 1967, Howard Thompson of the New York Times wrote:
“HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI” — yep, that’s the title that appeared yesterday on a circuit double bill. And anyone who ambles inside expecting the worst won’t be disappointed. For here, finally and in color, is the answer to a moron’s prayer.
Here, in spades, is the essence of those rock ‘n’ roll beach frolics from American International, crammed with squealing young cuties, gawking male counterparts and the usual “guest stars.” This time let’s pity Brian Donlevy, Mickey Rooney and good, old, now-departed Buster Keaton. Again, a camera has been plunked down on the sand and William Asher directs the traffic churning around it.
Annette Funicello and Dwayne Hickman head the roster of capering young folk, who cheerfully yelp the worst musical score since 1925 (the year before sound movies). A tired-looking pelican waddles in and out of the picture, keeping vigil over Miss Funicello’s honor.
Maybe that’s the real message. Never mind how to stuff a wild bikini. Get yourself a pelican, stay home with it and watch TV.[4]
I guess he didn’t get the joke.
Actors – How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)
Returning
The great comedic actor Harvey Lembeck played motorcycle gang leader Eric Von Zipper. Lembeck was first covered in the western war film The Command (1954).
Film-Noir veteran Brian Donlevy played advertising executive B.D. ‘Big Deal’ MacPherson. Donlevy was covered in The Big Combo (1955).
Dwayne Hickman played the male lead, Ricky. This popular young star was first covered in Cat Ballou (1965).
The great silent era actor Buster Keaton played the witch doctor Bwana. He used his deadpan facial expression to great effect in this film. Keaton was first covered in his must-see classic The General (1926).
Mickey Rooney had a funny role as junior executive Peachy Keane. Rooney was first covered in the great boxing Film-Noir Requiem for a Heavyweight (1962).
Frankie Avalon, who was barely in this film, played Frankie. Avalon was briefly covered during The Alamo (1960).
Len Lesser played the mean pool hall manager North Dakota Pete. Of course, he is best known as Jerry Seinfeld’s Uncle Abe. Lesser was briefly covered in I Want to Live! (1958).
Michele Carey had a small uncredited role as Michele. Carey was first covered in the western El Dorado (1967).
New
Annette Funicello played the lead, Dee Dee. Funicello was born in 1942 in New York state. Funicello’s family moved to California when she was very young. In 1955, she debuted on “The Mickey Mouse Club” 1955-1958. She quickly became the most popular mouse. Think Christina Aguilera.
When the show ended in 1958, Walt Disney kept her under contract for films such as The Shaggy Dog (1959), The Misadventures of Merlin Jones (1964), and The Monkey’s Uncle (1965). She was loaned out by Disney for the beach films, with the request that she does not wear a bikini. Really, she was the only girl on the beach with a bouffant hairdo and a sweater. These movie include Beach Party (1963), Bikini Beach (1964), Muscle Beach Party (1964), Pajama Party (1964), Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965), Beach Blanket Bingo (1965), How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965), and race track version of beach films Fireball 500 (1966) and Thunder Alley (1967). During these beach movies, Funicello was a minor pop star.
She and Frankie Avalon spoofed themselves pretty well in Back to the Beach (1987), including mentioning that they looked like they were from New Jersey or words to that effect. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 1987 and died at the age of 70 in 2013.
Beverly Adams played the magic creation, Cassandra. She was born in Canada in 1945. Her family moved to California when she was young. She is known for the beach movie How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965), and Matt Helm spy spoofs as “Lovey Kravezit” in The Silencers (1966), Murderers’ Row (1966), and The Ambushers (1967). During the filming of Torture Garden (1967), she met and married hairstylist Vidal Sasson. She stepped out of acting for a number of years. She returned in 1980, and last worked in 1999.
Jody McCrea played Bonehead in this movie and Deadhead in other beach movies. McCrea was born in 1934 in Los Angeles. This super tall and handsome actor was the child of actors Joel McCrea and Frances Dee. A child of two big movie stars, Jody was only mildly interested in acting. Despite this, his first film was Lucy Gallant (1955). He continued with a few films and a little television work.
He acted in other genres in films such as Lafayette Escadrille (1958), All Hands on Deck (1961), The Broken Land (1962) and Young Guns of Texas (1962) but he is best known for Beach Blanket Bingo (1965), How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965), Beach Party (1963), and Bikini Beach (1964). He acted in and produced Cry Blood, Apache (1970). Following this film, he left Hollywood to become a cattle rancher in New Mexico. He died in 2009.
Irene Tsu played the Native Girl and was quite funny. Tsu was born in China in 1945. Ouch. The family moved to Hong Kong and then to New York City when Tsu was 12. Tsu studied at Quintano’s School and studied ballet at Carnegie Hall.
She won a “Miss. Chinatown” beauty contest in San Francisco 1961. That same year, she had an uncredited role in Flower Drum Song (1961). She was also uncredited in Under the Yum Yum Tree (1963) starring Jack Lemmon. In her first credited movie, Take Her, She’s Mine (1963), she played a young prostitute. In total, Tsu has 83 film and television credits. Some of more memorable roles not previously mentioned include Caprice (1967), Island of the Lost (1967), The Green Berets (1968), Airport 1975 (1974), Paper Tiger (1975), Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986), and Hong Kong produced: Comrades, Almost a Love Story (1996) and Golden Chicken (2000). She has remained active and has a film in post-production for 2020.
The Kingsmen band played themselves. From Portland, Oregon, this band charted with 11 singles and five albums.
Elizabeth Montgomery had an uncredited cameo as Bwana’s Daughter, The Witches Witch. At the time, she was married to the director. During this time, she was known as the nose twitching witch Samantha from televisions “Bewitched” 1964-1972[5].
Story – How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)
Frankie (Frankie Avalon) is away on Naval Reserve duty in the South Pacific island of Guna Guna. He is hanging out with a nice island girl (Irene Tsu). His island girlfriend plants the idea that his stateside girlfriend, Dee Dee (Annette Funicello), might be fooling around. The island girl takes him to meet the local witch doctor Bwana (Buster Keaton). Bwana appears in a puff of smoke. Bwana mixes up a potion in his boiling pot. Bwana only wants to be paid in torpedo juice, booze. Frankie wants an anti-cheating potion. Bwana says to do that; he will have to get help from his daughter, who is a very powerful witch. He goes to the back and returns with a leopard skin bikini and drops it in the pot. Bwana says this will make a decoy, and no one will look at Dee Dee. Bwana says it will work on his witches’ honor and gives the Boy Scout sign.
Back in the states, a pelican appears on the beach. The kids on the beach are dancing a go-go and, at first, don’t notice the empty bikini walking down the beach. When they do, they flip their lids. The empty bikini stops by a surfboard. A girl says, “it ain’t nothing without the stuffing.” Bonehead (Jody McCrea) says, “How do we stuff it?” The Kingsmen began singing a song that describes the perfect woman to fill the bathing suit. The bikini dances and with a puff of smoke turns into the redhead Cassandra (Beverly Adams). All of the boys’ rush Cassandra while the girls lament about how long the summer is going to be with such “competition.”
Dee Dee watches with aloof detachment. Two dandies in bowler hats ride to the beach on small motorcycles. The men are advertising agent Peachy Keane (Mickey Rooney), who just happens to be looking for the perfect girl in a bikini to go with the perfect boy Ricky (Dwayne Hickman). Dee Dee smiles in the distance. They show Cassandra to Peachy, and he passes out. When Cassandra sees Ricky, she falls in love instantly. Ricky sees Dee Dee and goes for the hard to get type. Peachy wants to send Cassandra’s picture to his boss, B.D. ‘Big Deal’ MacPherson (Brian Donlevy). The girls all lobby for the job by dancing and singing. Peachy does some dancing and singing too. The pelican watches over Dee Dee.
Peachy pitches Cassandra to the board of directors. B.D. walks in and depends on the opinion of the board. Peachy does another song for the board. The song’s hook is he is the greatest on Madison Avenue. But this was before Don Draper.
Ricky and Dee Dee meet for an evening date at the beach. Ricky says that the ad campaign is to change the image of motorcycle riders. The boy and girl next door will race in a cross-country race. The pelican is hanging around. The other boys gather around Cassandra and sing about her physical attributes. Peachy comes and takes Cassandra away. Ricky wants Dee Dee, although she is kind of mean to him.
The next day Ricky takes Dee Dee for some thrilling cross-country motorcycle riding on a nice street bike. Dee Dee changes her mind and wants to be in the race.
Back on Guna Guna, Bwana gets his torpedo juice and gives the report the Dee Dee is teetering. He says his best witch daughter used one drop dove blood, and it made Cassandra fall in love. It should have been gazelle blood to make her graceful.
Peachy has Cassandra in his office trying to get her to sign the contract that he told his boss was already signed. She begins to show her lack of gazelle blood. Peachy stops her from signing the contract. B.D. wants to stay with Cassandra.
Dee Dee and Ricky do some product endorsements on the beach. Above the beach, Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and the “Ratz & Mice” are on their motorcycles watching the beach kids have fun. Von Zipper really likes Cassandra when he sees her.
Peachy askes the beach guys to teach Cassandra to be graceful. She wrecks the surfboard area. He then asks the beach girls to help, but they refuse. Dee Dee says the girls should help because Peachy will take Cassandra away, and she also volunteers to help.
Von Zipper takes the “Ratz & Mice” to Peachy’s office. Von Zipper wants to win the race and be the boy next door. They sing a song of Von Zipper’s virtues to Peachy.
Back at the beach, the girls are trying to teach Cassandra grace. It’s not working. Peachy takes her to a shrink to try and discover why she is clumsy around males. No help.
Ricky is putting the bum rush on Dee Dee at a nice restaurant as Peachy and Cassandra come in. The Kingsmen are playing in the restaurant. Bonehead starts dancing with Cassandra, and her clumsiness is bouncing off. The Kingsmen invite Dee Dee up for a song. The “Ratz & Mice” invade the club, and Von Zipper dances with Cassandra. Since they are both klutzy, the dancing seems to work. Von Zipper wants to ride with Cassandra in the cross-country race. Von Zipper gives his catchphrase to Ricky, “You, I don’t like.” Von Zipper tries to paralyze Ricky by touching his temple with his finger, but Von Zipper paralyzes himself and has to be carried out by the gang. They take Von Zipper to a pool hall, and North Dakota Pete (Len Lesser) is running the joint. Pete says he will take care of Ricky.
Ricky and Dee Dee walk on the beach until they arrive at Ricky’s apartment. The pelican is nearby squawking. Back on the island, Bwana gets his torpedo juice and gives the report that Dee Dee is slipping fast. Ricky is using his cool Asian fusion apartment to full advantage until the pelican breaks in. Dee Dee makes her escape.
B.D. puts the crush on Peachy about the girl. He orders Peachy to change Von Zipper’s image.
Dee Dee and the girls sing about how perfect Frankie is, although he is barely in this movie. Another girl reads a letter from Frankie to another guy talking about how many girls are on the island. Dee Dee blows a gut and heads to Ricky’s house. However, Michele (Michele Carey) is already there. Michele leaves mad, and Dee Dee, who is also mad, says she will be back at 7.
Von Zipper shows up at the club wearing a suit and a bowler hat. The gang goes into shock. Von Zipper sings a song for his gang. The entire gang changes into suits and boilers as he sings.
Bwana gets his torpedo juice and says the potion is all messed up. He goes to see the best witch daughter and says Dee Dee is very shaky. The native girl runs to tell Frankie. Frankie gets a song from the island girl, and Dee Dee gets the same from Ricky. Dirty Pete breaks in and attacks Ricky. Dee Dee accidentally knocks out Ricky.
B.D. and Peachy discuss converting Von Zipper to a clean-cut all-American male. Peachy says he has rigged the raced. Pete has the “Ratz & Mice” working on race tricks with him. Von Zipper is kind of dumb and can’t remember the traps. It’s Von Zipper and Cassandra versus Ricky and Dee Dee plus some others. Von Zipper is foiled by his gang’s tricks. Von Zipper ends up in the pit with a tiger. They get back in the race and its neck and neck with Ricky and Dee Dee. Von Zipper wins. What? Wait! Von Zipper and Cassandra get disqualified because she was driving.
B.D. recognizes that Dee Dee is the real girl next door. Von Zipper goes back to his old image.
That night on the beach, everyone is singing and happy. Dee Dee is with Ricky, and the pelican is nearby. Dee Dee says she wants to get married, and Ricky freaks. Then she says it’s a trick, and she is waiting for Frankie. Ricky goes off with Cassandra.
Back on the island, Frankie brings a full torpedo to Bwana. Frankie is done with the island girl. Frankie wants to go home immediately. Bwana calls his best witch daughter, and she sends Frankie back to the beach. When she turns around, it is Elizabeth Montgomery of Bewitched fame.
On the beach, the pelican turns into Frankie. They kiss. Ricky takes Cassandra back to his pad. Cassandra turned back into the invisible bikini and disappears.
Summary – How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)
In an article about “Beach party film,”[6] Wikipedia gives American International Pictures (AIP) credit for inventing this sub-genre of films. The article gives acknowledgment to the early films of this genre, such as Gidget (1959), Where the Boys Are (1960), Love in a Goldfish Bowl (1961), and Gidget Goes Hawaiian (1961) but then says it was invented by AIP.
The article continues saying that the first beach movie was Beach Party (1963). There are approximately 30 films that follow this general format. What AIP did was perfect the formula by removing parents, which were present in the Gidget film, having a soundtrack for the young by casting an up and coming band, the teens were free of all societies problems and were sexually free, although shown only covertly, using young stars Frankie and Annette, and using older actors that could be obtained cheaply.
In the New York Times, Terrence Rafferty[7] said that the golden vision of California surf life died by the time Big Wednesday (1978) was released and that even the self-spoofing Back to the Beach (1987) could not revive the dream. Again, I liked the latter mentioned films and thought it was funny.
In 1962, The Kingsmen noticed that the heavily saxophone version of “Louie, Louie” by Rockin Robin Roberts was a very popular dance song. In April 1963, they were given 90-minutes to record their now-famous version of the song. The live performance recording gave the song a live effect and led to problems later. The band was not happy with the one completed take, but their managers wanted it released.
In late 1963 and early 1964, the song was blocked from the number one spot by a song sung by Bobby Vinton and the Singing Nun. Not Sally Fields, the Dominique ca nec ca one. The song peaked at number 2 on the Billboard chart.
The governor of Indiana “banned” the song for obscene lyrics. This eventually led to an FBI investigation. On Snopes.com lyrics such as:
A fine little girl, she wait for me;
me catch a ship across the sea.
I sailed the ship all alone;
I never think I’ll make it home
Were heard as:
A fine little bitch, she waits for me;
she gets her kicks on top of me.
Each night I take her out all alone;
she ain’t the kind I lay at home[8]
My personal favorite is “I smell a rose (up) in her hair” which was heard as “I blew my load in her hair[9].” These same people were convinced that the Peter, Paul, and Mary song “Puff the Magic Dragon” was about pot smoking because the little boy was named Jackie Paper referenced rolling papers.
World-Famous Short Summary – surfs up
Beware
the moors
[1] https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059287/
[2] https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/how_to_stuff_a_wild_bikini
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Stuff_a_Wild_Bikini
[4] https://www.nytimes.com/1967/01/12/archives/the-screenwild-bikini-appearing-in-neighborhoods.html
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bewitched
[6] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beach_party_film
[7] https://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/movies/california-and-the-end-of-beach-movies.html
[8] https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/louie-louie/
[9] http://www.amiright.com/misheard/song/louielouie.shtml
