Without me, Transylvania will be as exciting as Bucharest… on a Monday night.
Hello to all of the classic people that are returning. I am glad you are back. I want to welcome any new visitors. As a technical note, references and citations are listed for each show on the site at classicmovierev.com. Today on the Classic Movie Reviews Podcast, we are taking on Love at First Bite (1979).
I am going to start right away, saying this is a funny movie. Some of the humor, shall we say, pushed the boundaries when it was released. New York Times film critic Janet Maslin noted at the time of release, “Some of the film’s ethnic jokes skate by on very thin ice. They seem witless rather than mean-spirited, but that’s not much of an excuse.”[1] This film destroys the modern standards of PCness. We will just have to suspend our sensibilities and take ourselves back to the times of Blazing Saddles (1974)
This movie is rated a pitiful 6.2 on iMDB.com[2]. It didn’t fare better on rottentomatoes.com, coming in with 68 percent on the Tomatometer and only 55 percent audience approval[3].
New York Times film critic Janet Maslin said in an April 13, 1979 review:
“QUITE unexpectedly, George Hamilton’s Dracula turns out to be — pardon the expression — a scream. Mr. Hamilton’s knack for comedy has been a well-kept secret until now, but he’s certainly funny in “Love at First Bite,” a coarse, delightful little movie with a bang-up cast and no pretensions at all.” [4]
Actors – Love at First Bite (1979)
The hilarious actor and director Richard Benjamin played the role of Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg / Van Helsing. Benjamin was first covered in the excellent sci-fi Westworld (1973).
Eric Laneuville showed up in a small comedic part as Russell. Laneuville was first covered in another great sci-fi, The Omega Man (1971).
Tiger Joe Marsh was one of the locals outside of Dracula’s castle. I have talked about Tiger before. He was a world champion wrestler and worked extensively as an extra.
George Hamilton played the famous Count Vladimir Dracula. Hamilton was born in Memphis, Tennessee, in 1939. Where else would he be born? His father was a bandleader, and the family moved a lot. Hamilton started acting at Palm Beach High School. In the late 1950s, Hamilton moved to Los Angeles.
Tall, slim, tanned, and with a smile to match, Hamilton was contacted by MGM. He began with some roles on television, followed by Crime & Punishment, USA (1959). Not setting the world on fire, he was cast in Home from the Hills (1960), All the Fine Young Cannibals (1960), and Where the Boys Are (1960). This last film is terrific and very funny, featuring Jim Hutton, Frank Gorshin, and Paula Prentiss, who just happens to be Richard Benjamin’s wife. When Hamilton drew a question mark in the sand for Merritt Andrews (Dolores Hart), the girls in the audience went crazy.
Later movies include By Love Possessed (1961), Angel Baby (1961), Light in the Piazza (1962), Act One (1963), Looking for Love (1964), Your Cheatin’ Heart (1964), where he played Hank Williams Sr., and the awful and fun Evel Knievel (1971), as the legendary daredevil.
He continued to work in television and film, occasionally getting something worth watching. These films include Love at First Bite (1979), Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981) playing Don Diego Vega / Bunny Wigglesworth in a movie that could not be made today (But it is funny), and The Godfather: Part III (1990). He made a cameo in Bulworth (1998), where they made fun of his resemblance to Warren Beatty.
He is still around, and his most recent appearances are in KFC commercials as Colonel Harland Sanders.
Susan Saint James played Cindy Sondheim, Dracula’s object of affection. Saint James was born in California in 1946. She was raised in Illinois. While she was a teenager, she worked as a model in the US and abroad. Eventually, Saint James moved to Hollywood.
Saint James signed a seven-year contract with Universal Studios. She began with TV movies and shows. In 1968, she was in Where Angels Go Trouble Follows! (1968), the sequel to the popular The Trouble with Angels (1966).
Saint James positioned herself as a bright but somewhat ditzy and charming second lead. This persona worked well for her on television. In series like “It Takes a Thief” 1968–1970, “The Name of the Game” 1968–1971, “McMillan & Wife” 1971-1976, and later “Kate & Allie” 1984–1989.
She continued with movies but never had the breakout she needed, although many of the films were decent, such as Love at First Bite (1979) and Carbon Copy (1981). At the end of “Kate & Allie,” Saint James became semi-retired to raise her family.
Dick Shawn played Lt. Ferguson. He was a super funny comedian who actually died on the stage while performing a comedy show.
Arte Johnson played the bug-eating Renfield. Arte Johnson is probably most famous for dressing as a Nazi soldier on “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” 1967–1971 and saying, “very interesting.”
From “The Jeffersons” 1975–1985 are Sherman Hemsley as Reverend Mike and Isabel Sanford as Judge R. Thomas.
Two other cameos are Barry Gordon as a flashlight seller and Ronnie Schell riding in an elevator. Schell was Duke on “Gomer Pyle: USMC” 1964–1969.
Story – Love at First Bite (1979)
A gypsy fiddle plays over a full moon as the credit’s role. A giant hilltop castle is shown against the background. Wolves howl, and a casket is shown in the castle basement. A gloved hand slowly opens the lid. The feet and cap of the occupant are shown as the wolves continue to howl.
Count Vladimir Dracula (George Hamilton) plays the piano in a candlelit fog-covered castle. The wolves continue to howl. The music is drowned out by the wolves, Dracula shouts, “children of the night, shut up.”
Dracula takes a drink of blood and calls for Renfield (Arte Johnson) to complain that the blood is not body temperature. Renfield delivers a fashion magazine with Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James) on the cover. Dracula says she is the only woman he has ever loved. He said he bite her once in Warsaw in 1356 and twice in England in 1931, where she was known as Mina Harker. He said he lost Mina in the London fog.
Renfield says Dracula was saved in 1931 from Van Helsing’s stake by a cigarette case he had given him. Dracula takes his magazine to the coffin, and Renfield finds a bug to eat.
No sooner has Dracula laid down when Renfield comes to tell that there are some government people at the door. A Commissaire woman (Lidia Kristen) tells that the castle is being turned into an Olympic gymnastics training camp, and he must leave. Damn Commies.
As Dracula prepares to leave, a crowd of locals arrives with torches and lots of pitchforks. A fiddle player provides tense music. They are no longer afraid. Someone is selling wolfbane. Dracula enrages some of the crowd and talks about protecting the young and the old. Finally, Dracula says, “Without me, Transylvania will be as exciting as Bucharest… on a Monday night.”
Dracula and Renfield fly to New York. Renfield is in a seat, and Dracula is in his coffin inside of the cargo compartment. Renfield wants something alive to eat.
The Customs Inspector (David Ketchum) is totally over his job, and Renfield gets the coffin through. An African American family picks up another casket with Transylvania stamped on the side. The coffin Renfield has is taken to the city in a convertible VW bug.
Reverend Mike (Sherman Hemsley) is presiding over a night funeral for the dead African American man. I think they are mocking Reverend Ike[5]. Reverend Ike had his listeners send in money in return for blessings. John Lennon was listening to Reverend Ike one night and picked up the phrase, “whatever gets you through the night” that Lennon turned into a song.
Just as Reverend Mike is going on about when you are dead, there is no coming back; the coffin begins to open. Dracula sits up and says, good evening, and the whole church clears out.
Dracula begins to walk through Harlem, where he draws a lot of attention. Four African American men begin harassing Dracula. They call him a honkey, but he says he is not Hungarian. When attacked, Dracula breaks the biggest’s hand, knocks the second into a fire hydrant, and melts the third’s knife. The last Russell (Eric Laneuville) says he doesn’t even know the other guys. Dracula uses mind power to toss Russell through a window. Russell grabs a television from the display and runs away.
Back at the swank hotel, Renfield is watching Raid commercials with horror. Dracula knocks on the door and gives him a double slap. He tells Renfield to get rid of the coffin, retrieve his coffin, and find out where Cindy is before he wakes that night.
During the day, Renfield goes to the model agency that manages Cindy. The model agent (Susan Tolsky) was an alumnus of “Here Come the Brides” 1968–1970, a great show that is hard to find. Renfield produces a cobra from his lunch box and gets the location of her night shoot.
Dracula makes his way to the model shoot in Central Park. She is posing with two Afghan Wolfhounds. Dracula turns into a Doberman Pinscher. Of course, George Hamilton is a Doberman. In the ensuing confusion, he makes it to Cindy and licks her ankles. A furious policeman that had his leg peed on by “dog Dracula” captures him and sends him to the dog pound.
Dracula gets out but has to pay $8 for a dog license. Dracula goes out to get a bite to eat. He turns into a bat and flies in search of food. The first attempt is a couple making love. When the man sees the bat, he is sure it’s his first wife.
The second attempt is a starving Puerto Rican family, where the father won’t work. When Dracula comes in as a bat, they think it is a black chicken and try to kill it.
His third attempt is of a wino that is in an alley. When Dracula wakes in the morning, he is hungover after drinking from the wino. Dracula says the blood tastes like the Volga River at low tide. Dracula is lonely and feeling sorry for himself. When Renfield tells him he has Cindy’s location, Dracula peeps up a bit.
Dracula goes to the disco and makes it to where Cindy is sitting. She at first she thinks he is a waiter. After a little leading talk, they decide to dance. They do an amazing dance to some damn song and head back to her place.
Cindy is a disaster with a dirty house and needing to take booze, pills, and weed before making love. Dracula looks at a picture of Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg / Van Helsing (Richard Benjamin) in Cindy’s living room. Dracula ignores all her faults, and they make love all night. He bites her once.
The next day, she sees her psychiatrist and part-time boyfriend, Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg / Van Helsing. She tells about the sex, and he is not happy. Rosenberg has been with her for nine years and won’t commit. She shows her neck to Rosenberg, and he says it is the work of Dracula. He says his grandfather is Fritz Van Helsing. Rosenberg reads from a reference book that he will have to bite her two more times. Cindy doesn’t believe any of the tales, and Rosenberg wants to meet Dracula. When Cindy gets ready to leave, Rosenberg duns her for the money for the visits.
The next night, Dracula arrives in an undriven carriage and has long-stemmed roses. Cindy and Rosenberg are waiting in the restaurant. Rosenberg opens a mirror on Dracula, and he slaps it way. He gives Cindy a neckless of garlic. Rosenberg reveals that his grandfather was Van Helsing. Rosenberg pulls a Star of David out, and it does not affect Dracula. Rosenberg and Dracula have a hypnotize off. They are an equal match, and Cindy walks out on them.
Later that night, Dracula flies as a bat to Cindy’s terrace. He forces his way in. She threatens to call the police, and he sweeps the phone away. Renfield gives the rooster crow, and Dracula must return to his coffin. She asks for a quicky, and he says only longies for her.
After sunrise, Rosenberg goes to a police station. Lt. Ferguson (Dick Shawn) is interviewing Russell about stealing hubcaps with his gang. Rosenberg butts in and takes up for Russell. Lt. Ferguson is not sure, but he lets Russell go. The act makes Lt. Ferguson feel better. Rosenberg tells about Dracula. Lt. Ferguson sends the cops after Russell, and they throw Rosenberg out.
Rosenberg checks into the hotel as a conventioneer. He slips out and breaks into Dracula’s room. Rosenberg pours gas on Dracula’s coffin. He brought the gas up in his suitcase. Rosenberg sets the coffin on fire. Dracula calls for Renfield, who in turn summons help. Dracula is saved, and the police send Rosenberg to Bellevue Hospital’s mental ward.
Cindy comes to visit and brings six boxes of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Rosenberg picks this time to propose to Cindy. Rosenberg promises to be good, and Cindy promises to get him out soon.
After she leaves, the drawing Rosenberg is working on is shown. It is a picture of a caped Count Dracula. Rosenberg adds the phrase “Dracula Sucks!”
Renfield and Dracula arrive at the Municipal Blood Bank in a hearse. After getting past the guard, Renfield terrorizes the nurse with a mouse down her bosom. Dracula and Renfield find the bags of blood and are amazed, and say it was like a supermarket. Did Sookie Stackhouse steal this idea for “True Blood” 2008–2014?
Dracula meets Cindy for dinner. Dracula gives Cindy a bat neckless with a blood ruby. Cindy thinks she is falling in love with Dracula. She is all mixed up. Dracula says she was born at the wrong time.
Rosenberg shows up at the restaurant. As he points a gun a Dracula, he says the second way to kill a vampire is three silver bullets through the heart. He shoots Dracula three times. Dracula says, no, that is for a werewolf. The police haul Rosenberg away.
Cindy can see the other places she has been with Dracula when he is around.
Lt. Ferguson is reading a newspaper with the headline – “Blood Bank Robbed of 200 Gallons.” He is waiting to see Rosenberg, who is now held in a straight-jacket inside a padded room. Rosenberg is sure it is Dracula biting people and stealing blood. Lt. Ferguson finally accepts the idea, and the two men head out on the chase.
Lt. Ferguson and Rosenberg arrive at Cindy’s. She is wearing white cream on her face, and Rosenberg thinks it is too late. Cindy, who now has two bites, says she is in love with Dracula.
Lt. Ferguson goes before Judge R. Thomas (Isabel Sanford) for a search warrant to locate Dracula. She calls him a honkey and throws the pair out. By the time they get back to Cindy’s building, it is night, and Dracula’s hearse is out front.
Rosenberg breaks into Cindy’s apartment and searches for Dracula. He finds Renfield in the closet. Renfield tells the plan. Cindy asks why. Rosenberg says the bad guys always tell their plan to the good guys (see James Bond). Rosenberg hits Renfield in the crotch with a broom. He uses a shot to knock Cindy out before trying to go downstairs. A brownout hits the city, and the lights go out. They are stuck in the elevator.
Upstairs, Dracula comes in as a bat with the tickets. The tickets are for London. Dracula opens the elevator shaft and yells for Cindy. The people in the elevator think Rosenberg is crazy, and they beat him down. Dracula comes down the chain to save Cindy.
When the lights come on, the entire city has gone crazy. Lt. Ferguson and Rosenberg talk to a TV report before running to the car. Russell is stealing the tires. They jump on a police motorcycle and head for the airport. Cindy and Dracula are in a taxi ahead of the motorcycle.
The expressway is jammed. Dracula uses some mind control on the driver and the car to get them through the jam, occasionally driving on the grass. Rosenberg thinks he might love Cindy. They drive through a lover’s lane park. When the car jumps over a couple, the taxi driver says, “eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds,” referencing Smokey and the Bandit (1977).
The driver delivers Cindy and Dracula to the airport. Inside the airport, Renfield finds out that Dracula’s coffin has been sent to Jamaica. Cindy and Dracula jump on the baggage chute to head to Jamaica. Lt. Ferguson and Rosenberg follow them through the airport to the runway.
Cindy and Dracula miss the plane. The only way is for Cindy to take the third bite. She is unsure. Rosenberg screaming that he may love Cindy forces her to choose. She asks Dracula to make the third bite. Rosenberg jumps on the cape with a wooden stake, but Cindy and Dracula are gone. A check falls from the air, and Cindy’s psychiatry bill is paid.
Lt. Ferguson and Rosenberg decided that Dracula is so good with the women because he wears a cape. Lt. Ferguson is going to use the cape for his anniversary.
Cindy and Dracula fly as bat across the ocean. Dracula says they only have nights. Cindy is okay with that saying she could never get her shit together before 7:00 pm.
I’ll be right back with conclusions and the World-Famous Short Summary following a word from our sponsors.
Summary – Love at First Bite (1979)
The removal of a single song decreased the quality of this movie. When Dracula and Cindy first dance at the disco, the song originally used was “I Love the Nightlife” by Alicia Bridges. The song was a perfect metaphor for Dracula and the life he wanted for Cindy. You also leave the viewing singing that song. It’s quite an earworm.
Licensing issues, read money, forced the song to be removed from later broadcasts and DVDs. It was replaced by a version of “The Man That I Love,” and it makes no sense. The original song has been restored to some DVD releases being in 2015.
This movie is a series of homages and tributes to other films. George Hamilton was said to be imitating the accent of Bela Lugosi from Dracula (1931). There is no mistake that Arte Johnson, as Renfield, uses Renfield’s voice made famous by Dwight Frye in Dracula (1931).
William Tuttle, the make-up artist from Dracula (1931), worked make-up for this film.
When the wolves drown out the music, Dracula shouts, “children of the night, shut up.” This scene is a twist on Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931), after hearing the wolves bay, saying, “The children of the night, what music they make.”
Dracula tells the women he bit twice in England in 1931 was named Mina Harker. The name is from Mina Seward, who was engaged to John Harker and is straight from the movie Dracula (1931).
The conflict with the four African American men is a parody of a scene for Scream Blacula Scream (1973).
The Star of David bit references and is the inverse of a joke in The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967), which was directed by Roman Polanski when he wasn’t out abusing teenagers.
Rosenberg labels his mental hospital sketch of Dracula with “Dracula Sucks.” “Dracula Sucks” was the working title of this film and the name of a 1978 porno movie.
There was a lot of product placement in this movie. I guess it was a sign of the times. In the scene where Rosenberg is in the mental hospital, Cindy brings him six Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes. It is funny that Hamilton became a pitchman for KFC as it is now called.
Next time we will have a movie that crosses the bridge between Horror and Neo-Noir for our Noirvember celebration. So, look for that podcast to come out.
Don’t forget to drop by the store and check out the merchandise.
World-Famous Short Summary – It’s a fine line between wooing and stalking.
Beware the moors
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/1979/04/13/archives/screen-love-at-first-bite-draculas-plaza-suitefullblooded-humor.html
[2] https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079489/
[3] https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/love_at_first_bite
[4] https://www.nytimes.com/1979/04/13/archives/screen-love-at-first-bite-draculas-plaza-suitefullblooded-humor.html
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverend_Ike
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