Where is your invitation, Senor Beaver? – Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981) – Zorro Like You’ve Never Seen Him!
A legendary hero rides again—but this time, he’s not quite what you’d expect! When danger threatens the innocent, a masked swordsman emerges from the shadows, cutting through tyranny with style, wit, and impeccable fashion sense. He’s dashing, daring, and as quick with a clever remark as he is with a blade.
But when fate intervenes, and our hero is sidelined, an unexpected replacement steps in—one who brings a whole new meaning to the family legacy. With flair, flamboyance, and a whole lot of attitude, this new masked avenger proves that justice isn’t just about skill with a sword—it’s about confidence, charm, and a wardrobe that turns heads.
As corrupt leaders tighten their grip, our swashbuckling savior must outwit, outfight, and outshine the forces of evil—delivering justice with a wink, a smile, and a fabulous flourish. Can this unconventional hero win the hearts of the people and strike fear into the wicked? One thing is certain: the fight for justice has never been this stylish!
Get ready for high-flying adventure, razor-sharp humor, and a heroic tale that breaks all the rules—because when tyranny rises, a new kind of legend must rise to meet it!
Hello to all of the classic people that are returning. I am glad you are back. I want to welcome any new visitors. Today on Classic Movie Review, we are taking on Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981). This is a movie that could not be made today, as Americans have lost the ability to laugh at themselves.
Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981) reinvents the legendary masked hero with a comedic twist. When Don Diego Vega takes on the mantle of Zorro to protect the oppressed, an unexpected injury forces him to pass the sword to his flamboyant twin brother, Ramon—who rebrands himself as “Bunny Wigglesworth.” With outrageous costumes, clever wit, and daring swordplay, the film parodies Zorro’s adventure while celebrating individuality and humor. Directed by Peter Medak and starring George Hamilton in multiple roles, this campy comedy remains a cult classic for its blend of satire, action, and charm.
This movie is rated a decent 6.2 iMDB.com[1]. On Rottentomatoes.com the film has a 50 percent on the Tomatometer and a good 72 percent on the Popcorn/audience score.[2] Great film critic Roger Ebert did not care for the spoof on only gave it 2 of 4 stars. In a January 1, 1981, review he said in part:
This movie is, of course, intended as a comedy, and it has some funny moments. But it’s just not successful, and I think the reason is that Hamilton never for a second plays Zorro as if he were really playing Zorro. We could laugh at the previous movie Zorros because they were so serious about their ridiculous codes and vows and pledges of loyalty and chivalric passions. They were funny as long as they played it straight. But when a movie sets out a create a funny Zorro, that’s bringing coals to Newcastle. By playing every scene for laughs, Hamilton has nothing to play against.[3]
I’m usually in line with Ebert. Not so much this time!
Actors – Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
The always great Brenda Vaccaro played Florinda, the chronically under-sexed wife of Esteban. Vaccaro was first covered in the space adventure Capricorn One (1977).
The tan man, George Hamilton, played several roles, including Zorro, Don Diego Vega, and Bunny Wigglesworth. Love at First Bite (1979)
New
Funny man, Ron Leibman played military officer Esteban. Leibman was born in 1937 in New York City. Leibman began studying acting at Ohio Wesleyan University in 1954. He studied acting and was in an improv group that trained Ed Asner, Anne Meara, and Jerry Stiller.
He was in the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, class of 1958. He also trained at the New York Actor’s Studio. His Broadway debut was in 1963. Leibman became a well-respected writer and actor. His movies include Norma Rae (1979), Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981), and Garden State (2004). He had a television show called “Kaz” from 1978 to 1979.
Leibman won a Tony for stage work in 1993. He was also on the faculty at The New School for Drama in New York City. He was married twice to actresses Jessica Walter and Linda Lavin. Leibman died in 2019.
Lauren Hutton played the role of three-named social activist Charlotte Taylor Wilson. This lovely southern bell was born in Charleston in 1943. Hutton graduated high school in 1961. She attended the University of South Florida but transferred to Tulane University, graduating in 1964. She is also an alumnus of Stella Adler Studio of Acting.
Tall and beautiful, with a large gap in her teeth, Hutton worked as a model for Revlon Cosmetics and the Ford Modeling Agency. She played an important role in Paper Lion (1968), a football tryout based on a true story. Hutton continued to work in films of the quality of Gator (1976) and Viva Knievel! (1977) until the next decade, when she made a big splash in American Gigolo (1980). Her modeling career ended in the 80s, and she continued in films, having a good one now and then, such as Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981), Once Bitten (1985), a vampire comedy in the same vein as Love at First Bite (1979) which starred George Hamilton, and 54 (1998).
Story – Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
The hero from The Mark of Zorro (1940) is shown in clips from the earlier movie. However, his exploits from the 1840s have faded from history. Now, 50 years later, Don Diego Vega (George Hamilton) is living the life of a wealthy rake in the Spanish capital city of Madrid. The problems in California seem to be in another world as he romances Dolores (Carolyn Seymour).
Suddenly, Garcia (Clive Revill), Gloria’s husband, enters the room, only pretending to have traveled to Barcelona. A master swordsman, Don Diego Vega can easily hold off the single-cockolded man. Garcia’s five brothers arrive to join in the sword fight.
While still handling the sword fight, Don Diego calls for his mute servant Paco (Donovan Scott). Paco uses signs to read the letter to Don Diego while he continues the fight. The letter is from Don Diego Vega’s father, bidding him to return home. Don Diego and Paco jump from the second story into a waiting carriage. He tells the driver to take him to Los Angeles, California.
Sometime later, Diego and Paco arrive in the pueblo of Los Angeles. Diego is disappointed that no one has come to greet him. A carriage arrives carrying Esteban (Ron Leibman). The two men glare at each other. After a tense moment, Esteban, who is now a Captain, and Diego greet each other as childhood friends.
The carriage door opens, and Estaban’s wife, Florinda (Brenda Vaccaro), hollers for her husband. She is smitten with her childhood friend Diego. Estaban is jealous of Diego as both he and his wife complain about the marriage.
Esteban delivers the news that he is acting Alcalde as Diego’s father was killed in a terrible horse/turtle accident. Esteban says the turtle has been executed as Diego leaves for his hacienda.
A placard shows that the dons/landowners meet to elect a new Alcalde. They do a funny bit as the dons are introduced. Most are named after a California town and state, and they are from another California town. It goes as follows: Don Diego from San Fernando, Don Francisco from San Jose, Don Fernando from San Diego, Don Jose from San Bernardino, and finally Don Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.
As Esteban lobbies for his election as Alcalde, he shows a peasant being broken on a wheel for being short on his taxes. The Dons quickly elect Esteban. Diego is a little concerned. Esteban already has the village assembled for his inauguration speech. He immediately calls for higher taxes.
From a newly arrived stagecoach, Charlotte Taylor-Wilson (Lauren Hutton) from Boston begins telling the people to throw off their oppressive leadership and be free like the thirteen colonies have done in the East. Esteban is not happy. Diego is taken by the lovely revolutionary.
Diego and Charlotte are on different sides. Diego discerns that she is very wealthy because she has three names. Paco takes Charlotte to stay in the church.
Diego is hanging out at his villa and telling Paco how he feels about Charlotte. Diego gets an invitation to a costume ball at the Alcalde’s home. A small woman brings in a coffin and says it is from Diego’s father and concerns his destiny. Inside the coffin is Zorro’s cape, hat, sword, and mask. There is also a reward poster for the bandit. Near the whip, inside is a note from the late Don Diego addressed to his two sons. It says that the father was Zorro, the great hero of the people and bandit to the Alcalde. The son who receives the letter is to assume the mantle of Zorro.
Diego decides to wear the Zorro costume to the party. Paco dresses in a wolly bear costume. Diego hurts his feelings, saying he looks like a pig. Wearing their costumes, Diego and Paco ride horses to the party. They hear a peasant calling for help. The peasant has just had his money taken by Velasquez (James Booth), who appears to be a highwayman. Booth is the actor who played the sick call rat, Pvt. Henry Hook, in the great war film Zulu (1964).
After talking to the peasant, Zorro and Paco chase down Velasquez and relieve him of the money after a long sword fight. Paco arrives, and Velasquez begs for mercy from Zorro’s “hideous dog.” Zorro decides to spare Velasquez if he will spread the word that Zorro has returned. Zorro carves a Z into a tree but has to explain its meaning to Velasquez.
Zorro and Paco return the money to the peasant. The peasant tells that Velasquez is the Alcalde’s tax collector. Zorro carves a Z on the door of the peasant’s house. The man thinks it is number two, like how his grandfather is taught in school.
When Zorro and Paco arrive at the party, Charlotte is outside preaching revolution. He protects her from some soldiers and escorts her inside. The guards think Paco is a beaver. Inside, Florinda and Charlotte have crosswords. Florinda latches onto Diego in his Zorro costume.
The peasant from earlier is outside telling everyone that Zorro has returned. Velasquez tells Esteban about his encounter with Zorro. Velasquez sees Zorro and points him out to Esteban. Esteban pulls his sword on Zorro. The two men fight a duel on the dance floor. Zorro disarms Esteban, but the troops are ordered to attack. Zorro fights on the stairs and swings from ropes. When the doors are open, the peasants are calling out Zorro’s name. He escapes by jumping off a high wall but injures his ankle during the landing. Esteban sees that he is injured and hatches a plan to capture Zorro.
At his home, Diego is nursing his injury. He hears Florinda outside as she climbs a ladder into his bedroom. She cries and wants to make love to Diego. She says she and Esteban only make love 12 times a year. He says once a month is not bad. She comes back with no, 12 times in one night and nothing for the rest of the year. Diego wants to know if Esteban eats something special on those nights.
Esteban arrives with his men to determine if Diego is the injured Zorro. Florinda hides in the Zorro coffin. Esteban makes Diego stomp on his injured foot to prove he is not Zorro. Esteban is convinced by Diego’s acting as he hides the pain.
While Diego heals, Esteban carries out reprisals on the people. For three weeks, the terrors continue. Diego is still out of commission when a man in a British Navel uniform arrives. The man is wearing a cocked hat and has an umbrella for shade. When he is shown closely, it is George Hamilton in white powdered makeup and with a very posh British accent.
After a moment, he reveals that he is Diego’s old womb mate, his twin brother Ramon. Ramon was sent away 20 years earlier to the British Royal Navy so he could become a tougher man. Ramon now goes by the name Bunny Wigglesworth. Bunny is told their father has passed.
Diego lets Bunny read the note about becoming Zorro. Bunny says he doesn’t fence, but he is good with a whip. Bunny reluctantly takes up the mantel of Zorro. They have to teach him how to speak with an accent before he is ready. Bunny creates the name Zorro, the gay blade.
Just like the scene in The Mark of Zorro (1940), Velasquez is in a building collecting taxes when Zorro drops in behind him. Bunny has changed the color of the Zorro outfit to plum and added tassels to the hat. He uses the whip and takes the money before writing out the word Zorro on the wall with his whip.
Later, a don reports to Esteban that he has been robbed by a Zorro wearing yellow like a banana. Another don tells that he was robbed by Zorro wearing green like an avocado. Another don reports he was wearing red like a rose. Yet another reports green like a salad. Esteban thinks the colors are a message of some type. Esteban says any stolen taxes must be replaced by the aggrieved person. The dons begin to lose faith in their Acalda. Zorro is seen wearing a silky black outfit.
Bunny Zorro gives money to Charlotte while he’s wearing an orange-tinted outfit. She tries to put the moves on him, but Zorro suggests they go shopping for clothes together. Remember, the Zorro from The Mark of Zorro (1940) used this bit on the Alcalde’s wife. Charlotte declares her love, but Bunny Zorro leaves. Charlotte doesn’t like Diego because he is a landowner.
Esteban visits Diego and reveals that he will be shooting one peasent a day until Zorro surrenders. Esteban is suspicous of Diego. Esteban makes Diego his like a sissy boy and swish around. Suddenly, Esteban sees Bunny Zorro in the garden. Diego convinces Esteban that it is a priest named Ramon. When Esteban questions the orange outfit, Bunny Zorro says he is a follower of Peter the Dressmaker, the tailor of Christ. Esteban has Bunny pray that he meets Zorro. Bunny Zorro steals Esteban’s horse and gold.
Florinda wants to have a costume ball to celebrate her new necklace. Esteban agrees, believing that Zorro will try to steal the jewels. Esteban dresses as Henry VIII. He places four guards around his wife. Diego walks in wearing the Zorro outfit. Esteban arrested him and can’t believe he is Zorro. Diego says that he was instructed to wear the outfit to the party. Then, one don after another arrives dressed as Zorro. That party fills up with all Zorros.
At the ball, Diego is accompanied by Bunny, who is in drag and using the name Margarita Wigglesworth from Santa Barbara. Esteban is taken with Margarita and begins calling her Wiggy as they dance.
Diego talks to Florinda even though she is surrounded by four guards. Margarita spills wine on Florinda and steals the necklace from her. Esteban sees the necklace is gone and freaks out. A Z is written in lipstick on the mirror.
Bunny is back in his Royal British Navy uniform. He tells Diego that his ship sails in two days and Esteban can write him in care of the Royal Navy, but only if he is serious. He gives Diego the necklace to deliver to Charlotte.
Charlotte is still trying to spark a revolution when Diego arrives in the Zooro outfit. He places the necklace around her neck. They get all kissy-faced, and she calls him Diego. She says she thought there were two of them, but she knew from the beginning.
A child warns that soldiers are coming, and Zorro flees. A spy has watched the pair together and takes word to the Alcalde. Paco overhears the conversation. Esteban has the spy locked up. Paco takes the information back to Diego.
Esteban stages an execution of Charlotte to draw Zorro into a trap. As time draws near, Esteban asks a priest to pray that Zorro will be delivered to him soon. When he drops a coin in the priest’s hand, he sees it is Zorro’s gloved hand. Zorro disguised himself as a priest in The Mark of Zorro (1940).
Zorro holds a knife to Esteban’s throat, but the Alcalde will not stop the execution. Zorro surrenders in exchange for Charlotte. The crowd is siding with Zorro and asks not to be publicly unmasked.
They prepare to execute Zorro. Suddenly, Bunny Zorro reveals himself atop a high wall and calls for the people to help Zorro. Bunny is wearing a gold outfit. Charlotte and the peasants join the fight against the Alcalde. Everyone abandons Esteban, including Florinda.
Bunny waves goodbye to Diego and Charlotte as he leaves. The pair discuss their wedding plans as they ride away. She wants him to give up his land to the people and to live in Boston, where the music is better. I like to think she was referring to “Aerosmith” and “Boston.”
Conclusion – Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
This movie is a riot. Some of the jokes are very over the top. But it is really funny. Sadly, a film like this can’t be made today. I want to address the elephant in the room – making fun of accents, like when Diego would say ships for sheep and pipples for people. I choice to use the Trevor Noah rule. He rule goes as follows – if a country has been an empire, you can mock their accents. So English, Spanish, French, Chinese, Russian, and German are fine to mimic.
The film pays tribute to older Zorro films. As I said earlier, it gives a nod to Director Rouben Mamoulian and The Mark of Zorro (1940). The music for Zorro’s action scenes was all taken from Adventures of Don Juan (1948), which starred Errol Flynn. Of course, Flynn often played sword-wielding swashbucklers.
Bunny Zorro wore a plum, yellow, green, red, silky black, orange, and gold Zorro outfits. At one point, Bunny Zorro stated that it is no crime to be poor, only to dress poorly.
This is one of two spoof films Hamilton starred in in 1979 and 1981. The other film is one I covered very early on, and it’s just as funny as today’s film. The movie is Love at First Bite (1979), the story of a Vampire evicted from his Romanian castle by the local Communist party so it could be converted into a gymnastic training camp. Hamilton rocks a black cape in both of these spoofs.
World-Famous Short Summary – Leave the black outfit for Johnny Cash
As a technical note, references and citations are listed for each show on the site at classicmovierev.com. Thank you for listening and commenting.
Beware the moors.
[1] Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981) – IMDb
[2] Zorro, the Gay Blade | Rotten Tomatoes
[3] Zorro, the Gay Blade movie review (1981) | Roger Ebert
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